How To Get Over Faded Friendships
Earlier this year I briefly touched on how I lost some very near and dear to my heart relationships last year. It did not feel good and for the last 8-9 months I’ve thought about it almost every day which is super exhausting might I add. Recently the feelings began to stir and almost replicate as if it just happened all over again.
So I did what I knew best and called my grandmother or better known as “Ma”, I explained my side of things to her in great detail and she said “Can I be honest with you?” I replied “That’s exactly what I want”. She proceeded with “It’s time to get over it and move on” LOL so much easier said than done but she was right, I have spent way to long feeling sorry for myself and thinking things will change. However, me being me I needed direction or a plan of some sort to help guide me on this and reach the road of recovery.
Coming up with this list wasn’t easy as I truly didn’t have an idea on where to start. I feel like society spends a lot of time telling us how to mend a romantically broken heart but they never prepped us on how to get over a friendship that has faded out. Sure we've heard "friends come and go" but how do we repair our hearts over the friends that we thought would last forever? I was able to develop three ways to begin the healing process below:
Allow yourself to feel the emotions
Ignoring these new feelings won’t do you any justice. If you’re angry be just that, sad, unbothered whatever you feel in the moment allow it to happen. I made the mistake of ignoring how I felt initially and went about my business and then months later BOOM! This is not fun, I repeat this is not fun. Had I dealt with the emotions and properly communicated I could have been well over it all.
Whether you’re up for talking to the person or not you have to come to terms that this season or duration of time has come to an end and it’s okay. You and your friend equally served a purpose in each other’s lives. Plus some people really do outgrow one another and there’s nothing wrong with that. Believe or not writing this post right now is closure for me. I will always cherish the memories we created and I’ll never forget how we met but I also recognize that they’ve moved on too and so should I.
maintain and nurture the friendships you do have
If you take anything away from this please let it be this last point. As I was feeling sorry for myself and reflecting on the past it dawned on me that yeah it may be sad to lose a couple of people but I also have a small amazing group of people that does love me and values my friendship. So I shifted gears and thought about all the things I’ve endured with these folks and they are still here by my side (fyi: yall can’t leave I’m not going through this again insert upside down emoji). I encourage you to do the same, pick up the phone and give your friends a call and just check in, schedule some time to hang out. One of my closest CLOSEST friends Courtney, we are notorious for literally just sending a “thinking of you” text and getting wrapped back into our busy lives when we do get together we literally talk for hours non-stop filling each other in on all we missed. I value the friends I do have so much more I could literally cry right now. I no longer take friendships for granted, I don’t expect time invested to be a saving grace any more and I really love my friends the ones I know aren’t ever going anywhere partly because they don’t have a choice :)
Ashley | Courtney | Tyler | Dashonna | Richie | Christine | Charles | Cyla | briah
thank you for not giving up on me, calling me out when needed, showing effort and loving me without conditions
A Special Note From Tyler
MY DAWG!!!! Niajah I must say I am truly honored to call you my bestfriend. You've been a key factor my growth as a person , we have been there for each other through heart breaks , financial hardships, and career changes . I appreciate all our talks on how we can better ourselves because those talks keep me going and on my toes. I’m proud of all your accomplishments and you should be as well because you came a long way. I don’t come across too many genuine people but when I do I hold them tight , so just know you’re not going anywhere lol except for when you get on my nerves but that's what little sisters do. I wouldn't change anything about nor trade you for the world I love you inside and out . My real best friend
P.S you’re the reason why my standard for women is so high